November 17, 2013

Continued

“I’VE DODGED THE BULLET TWICE”

Let’s fast forward about two and a half years. I retired and moved out of the state of Missouri. I am living in Georgia now and love it. I love the weather in Georgia, and its simple way of living. I’m more relaxed, and I’m changing my life style. Exercise and diet have become extremely important. My priorities did change, and I’m putting myself first.

In July, it was time for my yearly wellness check with the gynecologist. I like this term, annual wellness check. Wellness is the state of being in good health. How do we do that? Put God first! Start your day by thanking Him. Change those bad habits. Exercise and a diet change are top priorities. Lastly, we should eliminate stress, keep those doctor appointments, and enjoy life.

I knew this annual wellness check was going to be a breeze because I had not had any complications. So, I knew everything was going to be routine. Nevertheless, once you’ve heard malignant that fear is always on your mind. We all know cancer may begin growing somewhere else in the body. This is another reason, checkups are vital.

 I was looking forward to meeting my new doctor. This was the first time I had a female gynecologist. No problem, first times for many things, plus females are usually very thorough. No offense to my male readers. I got there early because new doctors need all your back history. Of course, I wanted to make sure she knew every little thing about me.

All was going well until the doctor said, “Ms. Lee, you have polyps on your cervix.” She said something to the nurse about a colposcopy. She explained colposcopy.

“Colposcopy is a simple, 10- to 15-minute procedure that is painless and performed in a gynecologist's office. You are positioned on the examination table like you are for a Pap smear, and an acetic acid (such as common table vinegar) is placed on the cervix.

Your physician will use a colposcope -- a large, electric microscope that is positioned approximately 30 cm from the vagina -- to view your cervix. A bright light on the end of the colposcope lets the gynecologist clearly see the cervix.”

The colposcope allowed she and two nurses to view the polyps.  At this point, you would think I would have been concerned about three women peering down my vagina looking at my polyps. I want you to know I didn’t think of that until I was home and relaxed.  I was more concerned about the unknown, polyps. I’ve heard the term before, but I really wasn’t intelligently familiar with the polyps. 

I was leaving in a couple of weeks to take two of my grandchildren back to St. Louis. They had spent the summer with me. My concern was … how soon do I need to get this done? My doctor explained polyps. She told me they are benign growths or tumors that often appear on the cervix. She told me they could vary in size and may cause some bleeding. She asked if I had had any bleeding, and of course I had not.  The doctor also told me they can be removed in the office. She said we would set another appointment to have them removed. First, she would perform an ultrasound. Then the removal is a simple procedure. She gave me pamphlets to take home to read, “Disorders of the Cervix”, “Ovarian Cysts”, and “Uterine Fibroids”.  This was great! Educators love pamphlets! It gave me a start for … yes, my GOOGLE searches.

The appointment was purposely set for September. I went to St. Louis enjoyed myself and returned to Georgia. I did read my pamphlet and did some investigating on the internet. I was concerned, but I was calm which is unusual for me.  Anyone who knows me knows that I’m afraid of just about everything. LOL

I kept hearing, “Do not be afraid.” I looked up the verse…

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

I arrived at the doctor’s office for my second appointment and knew that when I left I would be “polyp free”. The ultrasound went well. No problems there; I’ve had a few of those in my lifetime. Great…let’s wait for the results and get these polyps out of me!

Back to the examining room I went. The nurses were preparing me for the removal of the polyps. The doctor entered and said the ultrasound went well, but she was concerned about the size of my uterus lining. She stated that it was too thick for a woman of my age. Don’t make me angry. What did she mean a woman of my age? She stated that I may have fibroids in the uterus lining. Here we go!  Immediately, she grabbed for a visual of fibroids. Great, I love visuals! You can remove the teacher from the classroom, but you cannot remove teacher qualities from the teacher. LOL

I knew from my pamphlets that fibroids are most common in women ages 30-40, but as everything they can occur at any age.  They are most common in African American women. It is not clear what causes them. They may be within the inside layer of the uterine wall, outside the uterus attached by a stem, within the outside layer of the uterine wall, or within the uterine wall. Her model showed all of this. She explained her statement of her being concerned about the size of my uterus lining. Menopause causes a decrease in estrogen, and fibroids shrink when a woman enters menopause.

Then BANG! She laid it on me! I am also going to take a sample of your uterus for a BIOPSY! There’s that “B” word again! My eyes bucked and immediately started to tear.  I’m one of those people who need to think and regroup. She said you may feel a pinch and there may be some mild cramping. She said that if there are fibroids present, most of the time they do not cause problems, but it’s best to know right away.

I agreed and told myself not to be afraid because God has me. Well, I didn’t have time to get my mind and body in tune. The second she started to remove the polyps; I started to shake and hyperventilate. My doctor could not do the procedure; and here we go again…outpatient surgery it will be. We scheduled the surgery for October.

That was incredible! What just happened? I left my religion outside the door! Did I really believe 1 Corinthians 10:13 and John 14:27? Fear took over. Just that quick I resorted to old behaviors. Fear is a learned response. What I needed to do at that time was regroup.

I started to prepare myself for the outpatient surgery. Yes, I did. I read more about fibroids. You see; fear is in your mind. I needed to program my head to keep telling my heart positive things. I replaced the negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Little by little I started feeling stronger. The negative voice started to diminish. Worst case scenario…if some complications are found, “HE WILL SHOW YOU A WAY OUT…”

You know the end to this story. The outpatient surgery went well and the result of the biopsy again was benign. Look at my God! Yes, I dodged that bullet twice, but that wasn’t what was important here. I learned something from these experiences and that is the relationship between fear and faith. Fear can cancel out faith. We know about fear and the complications that come with fears that we are having. Those complications I’m speaking of could be an illness, worry, or stress. But faith… faith is blind.  I learned that each day and sometimes each minute of the day I must choose faith over fear.  This is difficult at times because the immediate problem can be overpowering. Each time I replace fear with faith and focus on “The Word”, I am building that relationship with God and opening that door to receive all the miracles due to me.  Step out on faith because God can surely change you; change those around you, and even those difficult circumstances around you.